The Case of the stumped toe
by Darkgreenfangirl
Summary: John is quite use to Sherlock's 'normal' being different from everyone else's view of 'normal'. But why in the world is Sherlock stabbing the couch with a knife? CRACK FIC.


**(BBC Sherlock Crack fic) The Case of the Stumped Toe**

**Personal Note: This fanfic was actually written awhile ago but I decided to hold off posting it, until after the falls. God I'm glad I made that decision..the sherlock fandom needs some good old crack fic to help with the pain. God my heart still hurts…**

**Warning: THIS IS A CRACK FIC. DO NOT TAKE ANYTHING SERIOUSLY. It is also very out of character but its crack..I CAN DO WHAT I WANT. XD This fic will also contain sherlock/john. But thats canon anyway so you should be used to it. **

**With nothing else left to say I present:**

**The Case of the stumped toe**

**by DarkGreenOtaku**

When one lives with Sherlock Holmes, one has to accept that 'normal' for the great detective involves various body parts in various places. One John Watson,(Best friend, roommate, and boyfriend of Sherlock Holmes), was quite use to opening the fridge and seeing a human head but no milk. Random body parts weren't the only thing that John had gotten use to by living with Sherlock. There was also the periods of no cases where Sherlock took his anger out on the walls, or (if you were his boyfriend) several sexual related experiments. So yes, John was in the belief that their was nothing Sherlock could do to surprise him. Naturally when one lives with Sherlock Holmes..you have to realize that if body parts and shooting at walls is 'normal' parts of live..then what will be abnormal?

So when John walked in on Sherlock stabbing the couch with a steak knife, swearing a mile per minute, he nearly kept walking. Just because he was dating the man didn't mean he had to understand everything Sherlock did. Of course, one can't just ignore a man stabbing a couch. So John sat in his chair and watch Sherlock's abnormal activity.

"Sherlock..why are you stabbing the couch and not taking your anger at the walls as usual? I mean will be happy that your not putting holes in the walls anymore but what did the couch ever do to you?"

Sherlock looked up, but did not stop with the stabbing, "It got in my way." STAP. STAP. STAP. John couldn't help but feel pity for the poor couch, as Sherlock's started to peel off the ruined fabric like a mad man.

"Actually how did it get in your way?"

Sherlock didn't even look up this time, he just glared at the couch like it had killed his mother, "I had finally come to a conclusion about the missing Capula jewels when this couch interrupted my thought process."

John couldn't help but let interest come out in his next words, "It interrupted YOUR thought process? How is that ever possible? You came to a conclusion when you were hanging upside from a ceiling once!"

"Twice. I came to a conclusion twice from hanging from a ceiling. Quite good for the mind actually John. You see all the blood goes to your head and.."

"Yeah. Yeah. So are you going to tell me how the couch interrupted your thought process?" John said as he got up to stand by Sherlock bowed figure. As he grew closely to the remains of the couch John hit his toe on the legs and cried out in pain.

"JOHN! ARE YOU ALRIGHT?" When John nodded at him(jumping up and down on one foot), Sherlock turned to the couch in rage. "FIRST YOU INTERRUPT MY THOUGHT PROCESS AND NOW YOU DARE TO HARM MY JOHN?" He then dropped the knife and pulled out a lighter, "YOU BROUGHT THIS UPON YOURSELF COUCH! YOU BROUGHT THIS UPON YOURSELF!"

So before John could stop him(he was in pain people, give him a break), Sherlock set the couch on fire. How the couch when up in flames so easily John doesn't know but he does know how bloody cold it is outside. He and Sherlock stood outside watching the fire fighters attempt to save their flat.

"Oh thank god Ms. Hudson wasn't home..she would have skinned us alive." John mumbled, as he watched the fire fighters put out the flames. "I hope your happy Sherlock."

Sherlock(who had pulled John into his arms), looked down at John's face, "Why would I be happy about our flat being on fire?"

John rolled his eyes, "Didn't you think setting the couch on fire was going a little over board? I mean all of this happened because we both stumped a toe!"

Sherlock pouted, "But it interrupted my thoughts and HURT YOU!" He held John tighter, "It deserved death."

John just sighed, "Well now we need a new couch..and oh hi ."

The next few moments involve alot of screaming and begging for life so I'll skip it. Let Sherlock and John keep some pride. No need for the word to know how Ms Hudson has them wimped. So after Sherlock and John promised to clean the whole apartment(well John cleaned, and Sherlock watched), the two went out and got a new couch.

In order to avoid this ever happening again..John wrapped the new couch's legs. Then joined Sherlock to christen it. All in all just another day in the 'normal' life of Sherlock Holmes.

**The end**


End file.
